More Bald Than Yesterday!

"The face says it all!" ~ Melissa

Tonight I got another message from Melissa saying that her hair is RAPIDLY falling out! And she sent this picture. She says "It is driving me absolutely crazy. I am leaving piles of hair everywhere I go! The plan is for Eli and I both to get buzzed tomorrow. (I'm pretty sure she means she is buzzing off their hair, not taking to drinking ;) He is excited to be my bald buddy :) I am actually thinking it will be a relief! Pictures of our baldness to follow! I had an appointment with Dr. Miranda and had labs checked today. Best news ever - my blood counts are Awesome! Like an actual, almost normal person. Awesome! This means that Tuesday is definitely chemo day. Dr. Miranda is planning to change up some of the IV nausea meds to see if I have better luck this time. The first few days after treatment were pretty miserable last time. At least I know that it gets better!! Dr. Miranda is also scheduling me to go into the hospital to receive IV fluids for 4 days after treatment. This will ensure that I stay hydrated and also help flush the chemo drugs out of my system. Such a blessing to have a Dr that is so concerned about me! I am feeling pretty good right now. Just uber tired. I have been able to do some actual household chores this week and it was so exciting! I even vacuumed up some of my hair :). Please know how grateful we are for your unfailing love and support. We have received service in so very many ways. A special thanks to those of you that help out with the kiddos. My constant worry is that I can't be mom, and I am so grateful for many wonderful "honorary moms". Thank you so much! I can be at ease knowing that my crew are being well cared for (not to mention well fed!). I can't express my gratitude for a family that has made so many sacrifices for me. They are all so careful and concerned for me. I am receiving such wonderful tender care from Tyler and each of my children. Grandma Linda made a cool comment that I know is true. She said that I am raising a houseful of stripling warriors. We are all experiencing the refiners fire, and are learning and growing together. Thank you for joining us on our journey." ~ Melissa

I think it is amazing and wonderful that Melissa is able to share this journey with all of her fan club :) Thank you, Melissa! Love you tons ~Nicole

Losing Hair!

     Here is the full report plus pictures that Melissa promised! She texted me this picture with the following message to update with just before lunch today.

      "As you can see my hair is starting to come out!! My scalp is tingly and chilly in the bald places! I have an appointment on Friday morning with Dr. Miranda. I will have my blood counts checked that morning prior to the visit. As long as the counts look decent, chemo is still planned for Tuesday. Thanks for all your support and love!!"  ~ Melissa

    Then tonight she sent me this new picture saying that this much hair has come out since the other picture was taken! There were about 6 hours in between the two pictures. Yesterday she said that two handfuls of hair came out in the shower! It's so crazy that it is happening so fast :/ Melissa was telling me all about why chemo makes hair fall out. Cancer cells divide fast so chemo targets rapidly dividing cells. Unfortunately, chemo can't distinguish between cancer cells and other cells that divide fast, like hair, white blood cells and cells in the mouth. So that is why she was having awful mouth sores and her white blood count was so low. I learn a lot from that smart girl, and it helps me to understand what is happening and why, so I just thought I would share. ~ Nicole

Better Blood Levels

Melissa had her blood levels checked today and good news, her white blood count is much better than it was on Tuesday! The levels are still not back to normal which means that there is no chance of doing the second cycle of chemo this Tuesday. She had been hoping to shorten the length of time she would be doing chemo overall by doing these first four cycles every 14 days but it looks like she will have to do them every 21 days instead. Her next treatment will be on February 4th. Melissa says she is feeling fairly well right now but she is still very tired and weak. She still has to be in seclusion though! She has developed some painful mouth sores which is a side effect of the chemo. Today she started a new "magic mouthwash, it is a very think and interesting combination that includes lidocaine so it coats the mouth and makes it numb! I'm talking just came from the dentist, drooling and slurring NUMB! It is effective for sure!! I just wasn't prepared for how effective!" Melissa will remain off work for the next week due to requirements to establish the medical leave of absence and short term disability. "Visitors are still not okay but I love all sorts of messages and am able to visit some on the phone as well. We all continue to be so very grateful for your love and support. A simple but sincere thank you to all! P.S. At this point I still have all my hair! It is getting very dry and a few strands are becoming loose-but it is still there!" Melissa promises to give a full report with pictures and all when her hair goes away. She tells me that like she is all excited about it. She is so funny and makes me smile, I love her sense of humor :) ~ Nicole

Low Blood Counts and Good News, it's a combo!

Melissa saw Dr. Miranda today and her blood counts were checked. Her platelets are low, so that means her risk of bleeding is very high. She can't floss her teeth and has to brush her teeth with a very soft toothbrush very gently! Melissa feels that it is ironic that she can't shave since she is also waiting for her hair to fall out! Her red blood count looks okay so that's great news! That's probably the reason she still has her signature rosy cheeks! (She still looks great!) The bad news is that her white blood cell count is critically low. This is not completely unexpected at this point. Basically it just means that we are going to continue to to be super vigilant about germs! Melissa is wearing a mask and checking her temperature frequently. She says they are really lucky to have a close personal relationship with the Dr. She and Tyler both have his cell number on speed dial! He is aware of every change as it is happening! In general she is feeling weak and still a bit nauseous - - but so much better! Acid reflux has been a problem but she started a new med for that today. Melissa has a poor appetite and her taste buds are "wackadoodle!" She says the saddest thing is that chocolate now tastes nasty! :( Melissa also received some great news today! She is eligible for short term disability which will help cover a portion of her missed income! Yay! Her insurance benefits will also not require as many hours worked as they previously thought. Melissa says "I can't emphasize what a tremendous blessing this is. My manager is doing all she can to accommodate me as well. This is yet another in a long line of tender mercies from above. I truly feel like God has provided us with everything we need to overcome this challenge. The entire experience has been tremendously faith building! Please know how many prayers of gratitude have been uttered in your collective behalf! We continue to be blown away by the love and service we receive. Thank you all for hanging in there with us for the long haul!"
I hate to be a bummer after all the good news about insurance and such, but just a reminder that it is now really important that Melissa NOT HAVE ANY VISITORS at all! :( A huge bummer to me, as it always makes me feel a little better to be able to visit with her and I know that since she is such a "social bug" it perks her up too, but it is NOT WORTH THE RISK! Melissa said to make sure you all know how much she is loving blog, and FB messages, and cards in the mail are fantastic! Thanks so much for everything! ~ Nicole

Nausea Slowly Subsiding

I know you are all wondering how Melissa is, and it has been hard to know what to say when she has been about the same for several days. I will try to be better. She just sent me a message letting me know some details, so here it goes.
Today is a better day. The nausea is slowly subsiding. No barfs today! She is very fatigued but did go on a walk outside wearing a mask. Dr. Miranda has assured her that being as active as possible will help alleviate the nasty side effects. She says she is willing to try ANYTHING at this point! Her blood counts are at a low point right now so they have to be extremely careful. The poor kiddos are keeping their distance and using gallons of handsanitizer and anti bacterial soap. She says "they are all troopers! A special shout out to Alexa for being right there with me during the awful pukey stuff and remembering to wear gloves! and also to my Tyler for literally spending every second with me at the hospital. He has been outstanding at following Dr. orders to the letter and monitoring my every movement, sip, mouthful, temperature, pill, and complaint. He even set an alarm to wake me twice during the night so the chemo wouldn't sit in my bladder and cause damage. I can't express my gratitude  for a sweet little family that is pulling together for my common good :)." The game plan now is for her to rest for a few days while walking as much as possible. (I imagine her little smile as she says this.) She will have lab values checked and visit with the Dr. on Tuesday. Depending on her blood counts and how she feels she may be able to work a few hours this week. If so she would wear a mask and gloves and stay in a separate room. In answer to questions she is trying to return to work ASAP because she is the insurance carrier for their family and has only been at this job since September. That is not long enough to qualify for short term disability or FMLA so she needs to work as much as possible in order to keep the insurance benefits which are extremely important at this point. She wants you to all know that this is not a sob story, it is just a fact and since she has been asked multiple times we thought it was important to address. If a question is asked, chances are more people are wondering the same thing. Melissa also would like to convey how blessed she feels just to have excellent insurance! "As always, thank you for well wishes and prayers. This week has been extremely difficult, and I have truly felt your support. Our family has been blessed in a very real and wonderful way! Love to all."  :)

It is hard for me to be as upbeat about all of this as Melissa is, which makes me feel ridiculous. I don't know how she does it! When I break down, my family keeps reminding me of the big picture. This horrible treatment will eventually make her well. I know she has had some discouraging times this week as well. There is a long road ahead, but she manages to pull herself out of it and be positive when she gives details of what is going on. She draws a lot of strength from the humble acts of family and friends. Please continue to send encouraging messages via blog and FB! Thanks ~ Nicole

Keeping it Real ;)

I heard from Melissa this morning and she is feeling super nauseous today. When she went to get the shot her Dr. was not happy with the amount of fluids she was not keeping down so he ordered more fluids for her while she was there. They are supposed to check in tomorrow to let him know about her fluid intake. If it is still a problem she can go in for more fluids then. For the next few days she will have bone pain and nausea to deal with. I am so thankful that she has so many people looking out for her! She told me (in her message this morning) that she is a "lucky lucky girl" after she told me how well her family is taking care of her. It made me smile because I knew she really meant it, and cry a little because I just hate that this is real! ~Nicole
Melissa wants this blog to be positive and I like it to be real, I'm going for a combo ;) I don't want to lose my job! Thanks again for all you do to help this little family!

The First Round

I have had a heavy heart today knowing that my friend was going through her first round of chemo. It was good to hear from Tyler tonight. The first thing his message said was that chemo went really well today! :) He said that they started with some pre-meds for nausea, and some extra fluids. Those went in well but caused some dizziness. Then they started the first chemo drug, which gave her some small side effects (Tyler didn't elaborate on those) so they slowed it down and things went smoothly. It was more of the same with the second chemo drug, it started well and then had to be slowed down. The Dr. came in two separate times and felt like it went well. He also ordered an extra bag of fluids to help take away some of the side effects. They were at the IV Center for 5 hours total. Tyler says that overall today went easier than expected. The next 2-4 days will be the roughest as far as side effects are concerned. Apparently she is already feeling nauseated :( Tomorrow Melissa has an appointment to get the shot that will stimulate her bone to create blood cells. In one week they will check her blood counts. Melissa did get some bad news about her hair today. They said it will fall out quickly and will likely be gone before her next appointment in 2 weeks! :( 

Tyler says "We thank everyone for their loving thoughts and prayers."

That girl is tough for sure, but I don't know how she could get through this without all of our prayers! Keep 'em coming! Be sure to leave messages on her Facebook if you are not able to reply here. ~ Nicole

Starting Chemo

Melissa is on schedule to start chemo this Tuesday, January 14 at the IV infusion center of the Burley hospital. All of the medication will go through the implanted port. This is a direct line to the large blood vessels in her heart. She will be given premedicatons and  also meds during the chemo treatment for symptom control. The results of her oncotyping came back this week. That is the one that looks at the DNA inside the tumor and predicts the likelihood of cancer recurrence. Her chance of cancer recurrence is in the high range :(. This news means that chemotherapy will be longer. She will have 4 rounds of adriamycin/cytoxan combination followed by 4-6 rounds of taxol. This is done in 21 day cycles so these treatments will last 6-7 months. The day after the chemo infusion she will receive an injection of neulasta. This helps to stimulate bone marrow to grow new blood cells which should compensate for the chemo destroying cells. They will be carefully monitoring her blood counts.
The news of the oncotyping results was discouraging to Melissa but she remains positive. She is anxious to get started because the sooner it starts, the sooner it will be done!
There can be NO VISITORS for 2 weeks after each chemo treatment. Melissa says "we are being very aggressive with the chemo, and know that my immune system will be severely compromised. Please don't be offended!! Tyler is being extremely protective of me and he will literally not let people in. We promise to keep the blog updated frequently!" It is important to know that during this time NO FLOWERS OR PLANTS can be delivered due to possible mold or fungal spores. Please continue to pray for Melissa and her family at this time. There have been many blessings that have come from your prayers. Alexa will be managing Melissa's Facebook and the family appreciates all of your encouraging words! Melissa says "I appreciate so much all the love and support we have received. We send love and gratitude to all. Thank you!"

Busy Week

How this blog works: Melissa or Tyler sends me a message which I then write about on the blog. Lately, since Melissa has been feeling better, the messages have been written by her and have a lot of her personality in them. I try to keep as much of that as possible so you, family, friends and other followers, can feel more connected to her through this time. This post has quotes for when I use her own words. This has been a busy week for Melissa. Tuesday she had an appointment with her neurologist, Dr. Steffens in Twin Falls. He has been following her since her "adventure with optic neuritis last spring." She wanted to make sure he knew about the chemo and any possible neuro issues we might contend with. He basically told her that cancer is now the main focus and chemo is necessary regardless of neuro issues. She will have another MRI of her brain after chemo is complete to check out the optic nerve lesion. Since the reason for the lesion was never determined, Dr. Steffens is now wondering if it was related to the cancer. "Definitely a possibility!" I am thinking there are probably many of you wondering about Melissa's "adventure" this past spring so I will briefly explain what happened. She was working a lot of hours and was required to drive a lot. She was spending time working in Meridian, Idaho and would stay in a hotel when she did that. On her way there one day her she lost vision in her eye. At first it was black across the bottom like a curtain, then it was about half of the eye from the middle down. Then if I remember correctly, when she woke up in the morning it was from the middle over so she could only see out of 1/4 pie shape. Soon she could only see light at the top and then nothing. Tyler went to get her, she had some Doctors look at her and she ended up needing 3 high power doses of steroids through IV in 3 days. She did this as an outpatient. This was very difficult for her because she was basically blind since her other eye was reacting badly so it was very blurry. This was making her dizzy and "whirly" which would normally force her to camp on the couch, but the steroids were making her anxious. She would sit on the couch but her arms and legs were moving as if she were running. She had some very irrational thoughts. She tried to move the couch and vacuum, wanted to lock me out, thought she could be "tricky" and throw glass objects, etc. This was really wearing her out and to make matters worse she had no appetite. She had to take oral doses of steroids to wean herself off of it. Her eyesight did improve over an extended period of time. She was able to return to work after a few months. She was diagnosed with optic neuritis after the lesion was discovered but there was never a known cause for the lesion. This is not the only neurological "adventure" Melissa has been on, but it is the most recent. Gramita (Melissa's mom, Becky) took Melissa and Alexa to Ogden for her appointment yesterday with Dr. Shale. He filled her expanders "(ouch!) and removed a stitch that had become infected from my port incision. The stitch was supposed to dissolve but apparently didn't get the memo! I really enjoy Dr. Shale and I also trust him as a skilled surgeon. On the other hand, I'm not sure that he knows what to do with me! I say and do dorky things most of my visit!! Then we spent a long time with Megan from the American Cancer Society. I came home with 2 hats and a pretty scarf (and lots of ideas how to tie it) and a very blond wig!! The wig fitting was hilarious and we all had the giggles, but was also rather sobering-another preview of coming attractions :)! I was glad to have my girlies with me :). I also received some disappointing news. Due to logistical issues with our hospital chemotherapy program barely opening, my first chemo treatment is delayed until January 14th. I know it is just a week, and will not matter at all in the scheme of things, but I was all psyched up to begin this Tuesday. I think mostly I know that the sooner I start, the sooner I can be DONE! We still have about another week before the oncotyping will be complete. Those results will go directly to Dr. Miranda, so I should hear about them right away. (Just a side note but I adore this man and feel like I was directly led to him for treatment. Still a bummer to delay though). During this week of delayed chemo, visitors are still welcome. We are diligently trying to keep my immune system healthy so please don't visit if you could even possibly be sickly. I am also now a pansy that wears out quickly, so brief visits are the best. Plus Tyler will yell at you if you stay too long :)! I know I sound like a broken record, but I truly feel blessed beyond measure. I wish I could better convey the gratitude I feel every single day - a sincere thank you will have to suffice. My oncology care team have all asked me about my support system, and have emphasized the key role that it will play in my recovery. I feel humbled and blessed to assure the professionals that I have a phenomenal network of extraordinary people that will be there at a moments' notice. I even had an offer today from a sweet visiting teacher to clean my toilet! That is the very definition of service!! I feel like Maria in Sound of Music - I must have done something good (maybe in a former existence!) to deserve the love of so many angels. Please know how very much I love you all and how deeply touched I am (as I write this I am tearing up and Lex is saying "seriously mom, again with the tears?"). My family has learned much about selfless service and gratitude - thank you for your example! Keep the prayers and positive vibes coming my way!! As we all know, Melissa has done plenty in this existence to deserve the love of all of us. She herself is an angel and though she has been told, she will never realize how much of a blessing she is to everyone she meets! It is part of her charm I guess, but a bit maddening at a time when it would be so wonderful if she could see herself through the eyes of others.