What I'm Missing

I am feeling better this week- just still SO exhausted. I am guessing it is still from the decreased neulasta dose. I will have my blood counts checked at the end of this week and see what is up. My mouth is still really sensitive. Tyler thinks it is hilarious that mild sausage caused a sore to form! Who would have ever guessed that I would become a food pansy- I used to be quite the hot and spicy mama!! The other symptom that has been really bothersome this time is known as chemo brain. This is an annoying thing that causes memory problems, word searching, and other cognitive deficits. The good news is that this is generally temporary and eventually returns to normal after treatment. My kiddos have been well entertained by my spaciness and word substitution. :)A quick neulasta tutorial because I have mentioned it so much! The chemo wipes out white blood cells. These guys are the ones responsible for fighting off infections and other nasty bugs. This is why I have to be so careful and be in lockdown and such. Neulasta is actually a form of the e. Coli bacteria. (I know this seems completely counter intuitive). The idea is that when the E. coli is given , my body responds and says" oh no- there is a wicked bug cruising around and no white blood cells to take care of it. I should make some white cells". This basically forces my bone marrow to produce cells at a supercharged rate. That is why there is so much bone pain involved- the pain is literally coming from inside the bones. The pain is in various places but the worst has been the jaw pain- it was like having lockjaw. That really sucks because it's hard to talk or eat- my 2 favorite pastimes!! Alexa and her friend Aubrey Call (her dad has cancer too and is going through chemo) call it the "witch that is neulasta". I think of it as a necessary evil!! This next round of chemo will be a learning adventure. We will just have to see how I respond to the new chemo drug regimen Dr will probably tweak the neulasta dose based on my blood counts and such. That round is currently scheduled for April 8th. I will see the Dr. that morning to make sure all is well. I am hoping to feel well enough to work a few hours at the end of this week. I am dragging more than I usually am at this point but a lot can change in a few days! :). I have loved spending time with my crew during spring break- it zoomed right by! I am feeling super sad that I am having to miss all of the kiddos end of the school year and springtime activities. There are tons of track meets, tennis matches, clogging recitals, etc. that I won't be able to attend. I am hugely grateful for Tyler stepping up to the plate and playing the role of dad so well. Lex has stepped in as well- and she is a legal driver as of Wednesday!! It's also a blessing to have grandparents and other family members nearby who can help support us. Grandma Becky took the crew toT

win this week for lunch and shopping and they had a marvelous time. And of course my fantastic friend network are pretty much rock stars !! Thank you all more than I can ever express. I truly believe that The Lord has placed each of you in our lives for a very special purpose. Please know how very much you are all loved and appreciated!! ~ Melissa